HORRORATHON Film Review: Ouija (2014)

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Starring: Olivia Cooke, Ana Coto, and Lin Shaye

Directed by: Stiles White

Reviewed by: Phantomhour (Brendan Graham)

Two words that people don’t like to associate together are, PG-13 and Horror. It has this terrible social stigma for horror fans that a PG-13 flick can’t scare or disturb. We know that’s not the case, Insidious and The Woman in Black are pretty good examples of this. So now we have a movie about one of the most controversial board games released to the public. How does it fare? Is it worth your Halloween movie money?

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Nope. Ouija is an exercise in mediocrity, that is only really passable if you’re still in puberty. Here’s why.

The story itself, on paper, isn’t bad. However it’s execution is lazy and often times ridiculously funny. After a girl named Debbie dies, her friends try to contact her with the spirit board, or Ouija, to find out why she’d kill herself. Of course, who they contact is not their friend, but a malicious spirit. Yawn. Been there, done that. The film then turns into a supernatural, almost slasher film, as each friend is picked off one by one. Mind you, PG-13, so you get a lot of lame jump scares, and the horrific imagery is just settled for people having their mouths stitched shut. You’ll find out why if you bother watching.

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The twists are easy to see a mile away, you know who’s going to get it next and how just by looking at the juxtaposition of the frame. There are no surprises. The performances feel like they were meant for the CW channel, like The Vampire Diaries, the performances are mostly awful. I say mostly, because the amazing Lin Shaye from Insidious is in this film, and she saves the few scenes she’s in from being horrendously boring.

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Final Score:

 

Honestly, unless you’re on a date with someone who is easily scared, or if you and your 13 year old buddies are bored and looking for some Halloween fun….Avoid this movie like the plague. If it wasn’t for Lin Shaye, this would have been an abysmal experience.

2 contacted spirits out of 10.

Scares: 3/10, all of them cheap jump scares.

Gore: 2/10, stitched mouths, head trauma.

Beware! Lame scares, predictable, lazy, with one decent performance.

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