(Ranting) Movie Review: Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

Having been an avid fan of the Kick-Ass franchise for years, I was really excited when a sequel to Matthew Vaughn’s fantastic adaptation was announced. Then it was revealed he wouldn’t return as director, and Jeff Wadlow, director of such classics Cry_Wolf and Never Back Down would take the reins. This set my hype levels from being nearly equivalent to my hype for Pacific Rim and the Evil Dead remake to being only interested in seeing it. So, that being said, was Kick-Ass 2 a total garbage heap, or a surprisingly good time? Ehhh…. honestly? Probably somewhere in the lower middle. But, as a cinephile and a fan of the series, I think I owe it to myself and anyone even mildly interested in reading my reviews to explain why I thought so in my favorite format:The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly!

The Good: 

• Jim Carrey, John Leguizamo, and Donald Faison are strong one-off additions to the franchise. Jim Carrey was surprisingly reserved and enjoyable, something I haven’t seen in him since Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So, props.
• They actually provide a justification for The Motherfucker’s ridiculous costume. A weak one, but one nonetheless.
• Awesome cameo by Ser Jorah from Game of Thrones. (Sorry, but I’m kind of stream of conciousness writing this and don’t want to disrupt that by IMDB’ing the actors name. I’ll fix it later.) (It’s Iain Glen)
• Hit-Girl seriously gets some moments to shine. Especially with her earlier one-liners and action scenes.
• No rape scene or child murder that was in the books.
• Union J’s cameo totally takes the piss out of boy bands. I found that interesting.
• The Sick Stick. ‘Nuff Said. Juvenile revenge humor at its finest. But yeah, emphasis on the juvenile.
• I actually liked Remembering Tommy better in the film than the comic. They were a really cute couple.
• Hit-Girl’s Last Resort was a great reference to something you see in the first Kick-Ass book. Kind of. I don’t think giving cocaine to this iteration of Hit-Girl would go so great.

The Bad:

• Aaron Johnson’s accent really showed, especially when he tried to act stressed.
• Lyndsey Fonseca is in this movie for two short scenes. That’s it. Way to just disregard Dave’s main plotline of the first film.
• Night Bitch. Nice to see a strong, dedicated female adult superhero who don’t need no man… Oh wait. Nope. She and her “banging/dating Kick-Ass” sub-plot did nothing besides initiate the cops hunting masks subplot.
• The Mother-F***er’s costume…
• ...I mean seriously, what happened to that kinda cool mask from the end of the first movie?
• Why go from this:
• 
• To whatever this is:
• 
• Actually, just the entire Chris D’Amico plotline and character in the film. Yeah, y’know, I understand the whole basic vengeance plot structure in films, I actually love that type of story. But Chris goes from being an under-appreciated son just looking for his father’s love and support, to a completely immature moron. Unlike the comic, where Chris/MF’er is an emotionally unstable psychopath and potential sociopath, Chris is just an unlikeable spoiled idiot who has no justifiable motivation for pretty much everything he does besides “But my dad… bazooka!” Which is obnoxious and not an adult, fully thought out argument.
• Hit-Girl’s “Mean Girls”-esque plotline was not necessary and was done much better in the Hit-Girl tie in comic.
• Iron Kick-Ass? Wha????

The Ugly:

• The utter lack of fun. The first film toed the line a lot between it’s violence and it’s humor, but it never forgot it was fun. Superheros are fun. Seeing bad guys get their comeuppance is fun. Pain and misery and erratic soundtracks with explicit songs just for shock value, with no contribution to the actual film, are not.
• Ass-Kicker. Seriously, first you recast Evan Peters, then you write his character into being either A)a traitorous dick or B)The Biggest Moron in the History of Morons. I’m still unclear on which.
• The Date Ditch scene. It just left me with so many questions… Is that even a thing? How do you even find that many people to pull such a dickish stunt? Why didn’t she call Marcus or Dave to come pick her up/explain the situation?
• The rape scene’s replacement. Chris/MF’er is about to rape Night Bitch, but he can’t get it up, and it’s played for a laugh. Seriously? Friggin SERIOUSLY?
• MF’er or his henchmen (excluding Mother Russia) doesn’t come off as a legitimate threat, seeing as besides the siege of Night Bitch’s house, we don’t see them really do anything besides hang out in a warehouse. Speaking of which…
• The location of the final fight. Rather than the scope and chaos of Times Square that the comic had, it’s held in a mid-sized warehouse. Did they just get down to 20 dollars on the budget or what? I understand shooting on legit Times Square’d be crazy difficult and expensive, but still, that sort of thing or something similar can be accomplished with a set or a CGI shot. Just having it in the open, where civilians were actually a factor could have upped the emotional ante quite a bit.
• The awkward, stilted, Dave/Mindy romance. Why? Hit-Girl is badass enough on her own, she doesn’t need a useless/pointless romantic subplot that comes out of nowhere. I can see the twisted logic the director or writer (I don’t know who to blame there) was going for, but it’s just no bueno.
• The post-credits scene. We see in some of the last few minutes of the final fight that Chris is regretting at least some of his stupidity before he gets omnommed by a shark and presumably killed, so what’s the point in showing him whining about not being able to reach some water in his hospital bed while showing he is at least a triple amputee now? Even if Kick-Ass 2 breaks even, I don’t think he’s going to make too fantastic a villain in that shape if it gets another sequel. That left a really sour taste in my mouth.

 Final Score:

Somewhere between

.and…

It’s nowhere near great, but it does have a select few charms left. 3.5 beat-up high-schoolers out of 10.

Movie Review: The Club (1994) HORRORATHON

Ahhh, Netflix… you can be the source of some really great and unexpected finds, and other days, you give me The Club.  Starring a bunch of relative unknowns at the time, The Club is about 7 people at a strangely remote Prom held in a mansion. Right as the clock strikes midnight, time freezes, and all but the 6 students and one guidance counselor disappear, leaving them to unravel the mystery of what exactly is happening to them…

What Worked:

The film had some great practical effects when they appeared (which was pretty rarely). Kim Coates’ performance as the creepy guidance counselor and Joel Wyner’s as the mysterious John were pretty much the only shining examples in the whole film, but Coates’ rarely appeared in the second act, and Wyner’s performance was very Jim Carrey-esque. In one scene, the main characters decide to be smart and try to stick together when investigating the mansion, (likely an attempt at wit by the writer or director) then change their minds mere seconds later and split up.

What Didn’t:

Is it fair to say everything else? No? Okay, then I guess I’ll just run down the list of what was so terrible about this. Aside from the two aforementioned cast members, it seemed like the cast would be incapable of acting their way out of a telephone booth. (Yes, I know that reference is kind of outdated, but I’m running with it regardless) Some of the gems delivered in an expressionless monotone include:

“I wrote an article on spores amoeba and their sex life”

“Oh I am so grossed out at this moment I can hardly speak”

And no, I did not make grammatical errors typing those, those are literally how they appeared in the film. I was so surprised, I went back and checked the subtitles, and yep, they were there.Along with those precious quotes, this film suffers from some really atrocious editing. Quick cuts abound, especially in scenes where it may actually be more effective to hold something on the camera.

Final Score:

Not worth your time, even if you’re looking for a good movie to play the mustache game to. It may be on Netflix, but I wouldn’t recommend it. 3 out of 10.

Movie Review: The Truman Show (1998)

Reviewed by: cinematichris (Chris Filipowicz)

With modern day television becoming over-saturated with “reality” programming like Survivor, the Bachelor, and Duck Dynasty, The Truman Show seems more like a prophecy of what was to come rather than a quirky dramedy. Starring Jim Carrey as Truman Burbank, The Truman Show is about an entire reality show based on the life of one man, and how easily that can fall apart. Unfortunately, I can’t say much more about the plot without spoiling the experience.

Truman spaces out on camera occasionally.

What Worked:

The tone of the movie is largely successful. It knows when to go for a joke and when to pull on the audiences heartstrings. If it didn’t find a nice, healthy medium between the two, the movie would be either too goofy or too depressing. Jim Carrey creates a very human character in Truman, and gives his most real and emotional performance this side of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Ed Harris as the show’s creator/director Christof is another gleaming point of the film. His greed and obsession with Truman and his program is perfectly shown in a very nuanced performance. The film’s set design is well planned, and can lead to a lot of laughs if you’re familiar with film making and design.

What Didn’t:

Though I can certainly play devil’s advocate and see why they weren’t (time constraints especially), none of the characters besides Truman were actually developed. When looking at the films structure as a TV show, it’s rather difficult to believe a show could have lasted for nearly 30 seasons without any character development outside of the protagonist. Another major issue of the film that I have rarely encountered in films I like as much as this one is the score. While it helps bring out that aforementioned healthy medium in some scenes, it helps initiate an inappropriate mood in others (like a a triumphant song playing whilst Truman is overwhelmed and confused).

Final Score:

Somewhere between…

and…

Definitely something worthwhile to rent at least once in your lifetime, but not something I’d tell everyone to buy on BluRay. 7.5 out of 10